a blasphemer, and injurious, said St. Paul; and his heart bleeds afresh, and he sets himself down for the chief of sinners. 1 Tim. i. 13. 15. But what are you now, after all the grace of God; after all the kind methods heaven has taken to reclaim you: and what are your attainments, if you compare yourself and attainments with the holy law of God, in its spiritual nature and divine strictness? Do you feel such a heart towards the great and glorious Governor of the whole world, as becomes you? Think what a God he is, and how angels and saints on high love him. Think of his majesty, and greatness, and glory, and excellence; and how he is the fear, and delight, and joy of all heaven. Think of his original and entire right to you, and absolute authority over you. Think of the vileness of your apostacy, and of the depth of your ruin, Think of redeeming love. Think of converting grace. Think of the many means God has used with you in his providence, and by his spirit. Think of all his loving kindnesses and tender mercies. And think what a beast you are before the Lord! Lie down in the dust, and cry, and mourn, and weep, and let your heart break! Oh, your want of love to God; of zeal for his glory: of delight in his perfections, and of gratitude for all his kindness! Alas, how you disesteem the God that angels love, and comparatively despise the God that all heaven adores? Alas, how careless you are about his honour and interest, and how inactive in his service! Alas, how you disrelish the fountain of all goodness, and the ocean of all blessedness, and hanker after other things, and go away from God, to seek rest elsewhere, and thereby cast infinite contempt upon the delight of heaven, and the joy of angels, the ever-blessed and all-sufficient God! Think of the peculiar obligations God has laid you under by all the secret ways of his providence and grace with you, and of all the infinite pains he has taken with you to make you humble; weaned from the world; devoted to God; loving, kind, tender-hearted, friendly, and obliging to all mankind, and universally holy; and see, and say, 'Was ever wretch so vile! Did ever wretch treat such a God in such a manner, under such circumstances!' Oh, how far, how infinitely far, you are from being what you ought to be! This made St. Paul account him self less than the least of all saint, and forget the things that are behind: his attainments dwindled away, as it were, to nothing, when he compared himself with God's holy law, and thought what he ought to be, and what obligations he was under; and he did, therefore, as it were, set down all that he had hitherto attained for nothing, and feel and act as if he was but just now beginning to live to God. Rom. vii. 14. The Law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin; verse 24. O wretched man that I am! Phil. iii. 13, 14. I forget the things which are behind; I reach forth towards those things which are before; I press towards themark: and, O believer! go you, and do likewise. Besides, remember that it is no thanks to you that you are not to this day secure in sin; yea, that you are not one of the vilest and most profane creatures in the world. Your nature was bad enough; the seeds of every sin were in your heart; but for restraining or sanctifying grace, you might have been as bad as any in Sodom. And what was it moved God to awaken you, and stop you in your career in sin, and turn you to God? Was it for your righteousness? Oh, be ashamed and confounded for ever! For his own sake he has done it, when you was a stubborn stiff-necked, rebellious creature. And truly, what has been your carriage towards the Lord, compar ed with the exact rule of duty, the holy law of God, since the day you have known him? O, remember Massah, and Tabera, and Kirboth-hataavah, and how you have been rebellious against the Lord, ever since he has taken you in hand to subdue you to himself. (Read Deut. ix. and see how much your temper has been like theirs.) And this notwithstanding all the signs and wonders God has wrought before your eyes: mean, notwithstanding all the sweet and awful methods God has taken with you, to make you know him, and love him, and fear him, and live to him. There are thousands and thousands whom God never took any such special pains with: their sins are not like yours: Come down therefore; sit in the dust; mourn and weep, and loathe and abhor yourself, as long as you live; and ascribe all praise to God, through whose grace alone it is that you are what you are. I * Let me here address you in the words of the famous Mr. HOOKER: "That thou mayest for ever, each day that passeth over thy head, remember it to the Lord, and leave it upon record in thine own conscience, say, Hadst thou, (blessed Lord,) given me the desires of my heart, and left me to my own will, it is certain I had been in hell long before this day, when, in the days of my folly and times of my ignorance; when, out of the desperate wretchedness of my rebellious disposition, I was running riot in the ways of wickedness; when I said to the seers, see not, and to the prophets, prophesy not; to Christians, to acquaintance, to governors, admonish not, counsel not, reprove not, stop me not in the pursuit of sin. The time was, I took hold of deceit, and refused to return; nay, resolved in the secret purpose of my heart, I would none of thee; I would not have that word of thine reveal or remove my corruptions; I would none of thy grace that might humble me and purge me : none of that mercy of thine that might pardon ne: none of that redemption of thine that might save me. Hadst thou then taken me at my word, and given me what I wished, and sealed my destruction, saying, 'Be thou for ever filthy, for ever stubborn, and for ever miserable; thou wouldst neither be holy nor happy; thou shalt have thy will; sin with devils, and take thy portion with devils.' Lord, it had been just with thee, and I justly miserable. But to bear with all my baseness; to put up with all those wrongs and provocations; to strive with me for my good, when I took up arms against thee, and strove against my own good; nay, when I resisted mercy; and then to take away that resistance, and to cause me to take mercy, and make it mine, when I used all the skill I could to hinder my own salvation. Oh! the height, the depth, the length, the breadth of this mercy! When we feel our hearts to be puffed up with the vain apprehension of our own worth, parts, or performances; what we are and what we do, look we back to our first beginnings, and judge aright of our own wretchedness and nothingness, yea, worse than nothing, in that we not only wanted all good, but we had it within us to oppose all good; and that will cause us to sit down in silence, abased for ever. When empty bladders are grown unto too great bulk and bigness, to prick them is the readiest way to lessen them: when our empty and vain minds swell with high thoughts, and high, over-weaning conceit of our own worth, learn we to stab and pierce our hearts with the righteous judgment of our own natural vileness, which will (or at least may) let out that frothy haughtiness that lifts us up beyond our measure. Tell thy heart, and commune with thy conscience, and say, It is not my good nature, that I am not roaring amongst the wretches of the world, in the road and broad way of ruin and destruction; that I am not wallowing in all manner of sin with the worst of men. It is not my good nature, no thanks to any thing that I have, that I am not upon the chain with malefactors, or in a dungeon with witches; for whatever hell hath, it is in this heart of mine naturally; a Cain here, a Judas here, nay, a devil here. The time was, (O that, with an abased heart, I may ever think of that time!) I never looked after the spiritual good of my soul, or whether I had a soul or no: what would become of me, and it was the least of my care: the furthest end of my thoughts; nay, loath was I to hear of, or know these things; when they were revealed, unwilling to receive them, or give way to them when they were offered. How did I stop mine ears, shut mine eyes, and harden my heart? What ways, means, and devices did I use and invent, to shut out the light of truth; to stop the passage and power of the word, that it might not convince me; that it might not reform me; might not recall me from my evil ways? How often have I secretly wished that either the word was taken out of the place, or I from it, that it might not trouble me in my sinful distempers; and when I had least good, I had most ease, and took the greatest content. Oh, that such a wretch should thus live and yet live! To be thus sinful! O that I might be for ever abased for it*." Thus the law, as a rule of life, may be improved to the humiliation of the people of God, in that it may serve to keep fresh in their minds their native universal depravity; their former wickedness; and to discover their remaining sinfulness. And I may here observe, that it is believers' peculiar acquaintance with the law, in its true meaning, strictness, and purity, that is the occasion of their peculiar acquaintance * Mr. HOOKER'S Application of Redemption. VOL. I. page 97---100. with their own hearts. And while the law daily shows them what they are, it learns them more and more their need of a redeemer and sanctifier, and daily puts them upon going to God, through Jesus Christ, for pardoning mercy and sanctifying grace. The law makes way for the gospel; and a sense of sin, weakness, and unworthiness, makes Christ and gospelgrace precious, and stirs up a man to repentance, faith, and prayer. Deluded, therefore, are those poor souls that say, "We must not look into our hearts, nor labour after a sense of our sins and sinfulness; for that is legal, and tends to discouragement: but we must look only to Christ and free grace, and believe and rejoice, and a sense of the love of Christ will humble us." Just as if the great business of Christ was, to keep men from a sight and sense of their sins; and just as if a man could be truly humbled, without seeing what he is, compared with God and his holy law. But, poor souls, they feel a legal, discouraged frame always, when they have any sight and sense of their sinfulness, and it damps their faith, (and if they were but thoroughly sensible of their sinfulness, it would kill their faith) and joy: and, therefore, they conclude it is not a good way to look into their hearts; no good can be got by it. But when they do not mind their hearts, but look steadily to Christ and free grace, (a fancied Christ!) firmly believing that all he has done and suffered is for them, and realizing the matter to themselves, now they feel sweetly and joyfully; and therefore conclude that this is the way, the only way, to get good for our souls; and hence grow mighty enemies to the law; to self-examination; to sense of sin, &c. This is the door by which, if any man enters in, he will soon become an Antinomian and an Enthusiast. But, to proceed, USE IV. Of thankfulness. While the law shows us what we are, it does, at the same time, make us sensible what we deserve; while it discovers to us our sinfulness, it makes us feel our unworthiness of any good, and desert of all evil: and while we feel our unworthiness and ill deserts, our afflictions appear far less than we deserve, and our mercies appear more in number than the sands, and the kindness and bounty of our God appears exceedingly great, and we wonder at his goodness, and bless his holy name. And thus the law is of use to promote thankfulness. |